Alter ipse amicus - a friend is another self

I sit slumped in my room and take a long look at my black and silver pumps and try to figure out just what outfit I should wear them with, god how I wish my cluster of close munchkins were here with me. It’s pretty lonely at times here in rainy London. I mean I have made as well as rekindled friendships here, but at times, especially when my London friends have their own things to do and priorities to attend to, I miss my shoe shopping family and friends a whole lot more than I’m sometimes willing to admit.

I mean, there is nobody to call at a whims notice and go grab a teh tarik and roti pisang at the nearest mamak with. There is no one to bitch about ‘oh the meaning of life’ with, to go ooh aaahing at the latest shoe shop in town with. There is no one to truly turn to, no one who knows my deepest fears, strengths and aspirations, who doesn’t mind hearing the same moans and groans yet whips up the same enthusiasm when I babble on about happy news I might have told one million and one times before. To parade around in new shoes as well as clothes that were just bought ten minutes before. No one to watch Sex and the City reruns with…No one who gives me the same sense of peace I get just by being in their presence.

I miss my family and friends more than anything in the world and would like to dedicate this long overdue personal shout out to those I do not show enough appreciation to.

Thank you from the bottom of my quirky lil heart to those who have incessantly held my hand through my tumultuous journey I call my life. Thank you for your strength, for your wise words, for your support and comfort, for the ear and shoulder that I may to an extent abused time after time, for your faith, for your generous altruistic selves, for being there for me - be it rain or shine, for never giving up on me and for making me believe that I shouldn’t give up on myself, for everything that you have given me, your time and patience, for just being there for me. Thank you for allowing me in your life and for giving me that opportunity to be who I am with you, thank you for bringing out the best and worst in me, yet giving me the same space and non judgemental nudge I need through the ups and downs of my life.

There are a lot of choices that I have made that are completely ludicrous, yet thanks to all of you, there aren’t any that I truly regret! I am what I am because of what I have gone through and because of the choices (be they bad or good) that I have made. With you guys by my side I know its inevitable that I make a million and one more either fantabulously great or undeniably excruciating wrong choices, but at least I know that I’ll have hands that are ever willing to accept me. Thank you all, thank you.

I love you guys more than anything in the world and hope you love me too!